No Other Option
by AliStew001
Summary: He watched her from afar. Every day, same time, same place. When you find a reason to live, you do anything for it. AH, OOC. Short One-Shot.


**A/N: My first story! Warning: If you don't like strong emotions, don't read this! Oh yeah, and you can tell me if it sucks, I don't mind :)**

**Also, sorry for the grammar errors, I still have to find out how to get a beta reader. Hehe.**

**I don't own Twilight and blah blah blah.**

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So here I am, standing behind this tree again. I've been doing this for a month now. Every day, at 3 p.m., in front of the church. I just can't help it. It's not everyday that you see an angel like that crossing your path. She was more than beautiful, with her long brown hair falling in soft waves down her back, almost reaching her waist. She had that petite face, with a lovely flush on her cheeks. When I saw her for the first time, that was it. I know it sounds a bit cheesy, but it's the truth. I dreamt about her that same night, and in the next day there I was, hoping that she'd show up again. And she did. And I couldn't be any happier.

She'd appear walking around the block, and then go inside the church. After exactly an hour, she'd come out, and just leave. And the next day, the same thing. I was completely obsessed with her, and had no idea what to do about it. Of course, countless times I thought about going over to her, asking her name, asking her out. But there was something in her that just didn't allow me to do that. I don't know, maybe the look she had on her face every single time she came out of that church.

To be honest, I didn't even know what it was like, cause her face was always down, but somehow I knew she was kind of sad. I wanted _so _bad to go over there and hold her, tell her that everything was gonna be just fine. Perhaps it was some family problem. I didn't really know. I knew _nothing _about her, cause all I did was hide and watch her from afar. How fucking coward was I?

One day, after she left, I decided I had to do _something._ So I entered the church. I saw the priest with his back turned to me, lightening candles. I cleared my throat. "Excuse me." He turned and smiled lightly to me. "Oh, can I help you with something, son?"

"Ah… yes, I guess. I was wondering if you know who's the young brunette that comes here every day? The one that just left?"

He pondered for a moment, than his face lit up. "Ah, yes sure. I guess you're talking about Miss Bella Swan. Why do you ask?"

I felt my face go warm. But I couldn't just ask _him _about her. I had to talk to her _myself_. Stop being such a chicken!

"Um… nothing really. I gotta go now. Thank you father." I sad and got out of there the fastest I could.

So her name was Bella. _Beautiful in Italian. _What an irony. That night, I dreamt of her. Again. But tonight it was different. It was more like a nightmare. I was following her down the street at night. She suddenly looked back at me and just started running. Like I was a monster. I ran after her. And just like that, she wasn't there anymore. I woke up startled, gasping for air and drenched in sweat. Later that day, there I was again. Like I had an option. I just _had_ to see her to get through the day and lay my head on the pillow in peace.

I stood behind that old tree, imagining what would it be like to hold her. Put my arms around her tiny body and press Bella against my chest. Run my fingers through her soft hair. God, they looked so damn soft. To press my lips on hers. Even from distance, I could tell they were full and.. Beautiful, just like the rest of her. When I realized, it was 3:15 and she haven't showed up yet. Okay, maybe she was a little late. No problem.

_3:30._

_3:55._

_4:15._

It was past the time she would leave now, and still no sign of Bella. Maybe she couldn't make it today. She was busy. Yeah, no reason to worry. So I went home, felling a little bit anxious, because after all, I haven't seen her today. And I just couldn't be at ease. The next day I was almost shaking in anticipation to see her. At three o'clock I was there, waiting for Bella, like it would be any different. She didn't show up again. At that time, I knew somthing was very wrong. I tried to calm myself by thinking maybe she had another contretemp. Meybe she was traveling. A week passed, and no Bella.

I'm not gonna say I acted normal this whole time, cause I didn't. I didn't eat, didn't shave, nothing. There was something in my chest, like something that wasn't supposed to be there, trying to destroy me from the inside. I had a bad feeling. An awful felling. I didn't wait until 3 this time. I had to see her, or I just wasn't gonna make it. When I got near the church, I saw something different.

There was a crowd dressed in black going inside the church. Remember the weird thing in my chest? It got a thousand times worse. I needed to know what was going on. So I followed the crowd and got in. Every body around me was crying. I got more and more desperate with the seconds. I finally reached the priest. I had to know.

"Excuse me, father" He looked devastated. The sorrow was clear in his eyes. "What is going on?" I asked, felling the blood throbbing in my ears.

"Oh, I was wondering when you'd come back, son." I could make sense of his words. "I suppose you don't know yet. Miss. Swan passed away last week. She was suffering from brain tumor for about 5 months now, and she didn't make it. She was such a sweet lady. Definitely didn't deserve the fate she had. But she gave this, " he said, reaching for something inside his tunic.

It was an envelope. "She told me to give it to the 'beautiful tall man with bronze hair', if you showed up sometime" he said, and handed me the paper.

My shaky hands grabbed it automatically, my legs totally numb. I walked out of the church like I was a zombie, and went back to my car. I just sat there, staring at nothing. My mind still hadn't processed the information.

_She was dead. Dead. Why? And the worse part is that I never even had the guts to talk to her. Ever._ I couldn't think. Everything was a blur. My body suddenly felt so fucking cold. And then I remembered. She left me something. She said I was beautiful. She knew about me. I found myself eagerly opening the envelope to see what she had wrote to me. It was indeed a letter. Even her handwriting was lovely.

_Dear… Mister._

_I know what you're doing. I've seen you. Always hiding. I don't know the reason why, but I find it better this way. You must be wondering what the heck is happening now, aren't you? Well, I'm probably dead by now, and I'm not sure of how you feel, but I know how I do. Don't worry, I don't think you're some kind of freak stalker or anything, I actually find it kind of cute. I think you're cute. More than cute. Even from distance I can tell you are. The reason why it was better that you never approached me? Well, I'm dying. Every single day I came to this church to pray for God to take pity of my soul, because I knew I was going to die when I found out about the tumor in my brain. I accepted it very well actually, I'm very proud of myself. And then, one day, when I was coming out of the church, I saw you. At first I couldn't believe you were there just because of me, but I saw you the next day, and the next, hiding behind that tree, and I just knew. When father Harry told me you've been there asking for me, I couldn't be more thrilled. But I also knew we couldn't be. Because I wasn't going to last much longer, anyway. All I wanted was for you to know that I knew about you the whole time. That I expected to see you every day too. Is it too much to ask that you never forget about me? Thank you, nevertheless._

_Isabella Swan._

I was falling apart. No, I was beyond falling apart. My face was drenched in tears, my whole body shaking. She knew about me. She wanted me to remember her. I can't seem to find a reason to live now that Bella is gone. She was my angel. I didn't know what to do now, knowing that I would never see her again. Because she's gone. God, I should have approached her, should have talked to her, asked her to go out with me. So I could _at least_ kiss her. Only one kiss, is it too much to ask for? I will never love anyone else. Ever. So why the effort? I knew it was useless anyway.

I've made up my mind in that exact moment. I started the car and drove away. I drove until I was in front of the cliff that was somewhere near Forks. Go on living, now that I knew I would never, ever get the chance to be with Bella, was not a possibility. So I didn't think twice before I jump.

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Was it too much? I remember when I was 10, I wrote my very first tragedy story. When my aunt read that, she almost sent me to a psychologist. Some people say I still need it; I say I need to get these stories out of my head.


End file.
